SexVille Tuesday: 10 tips to build your orgasm potential (Part 1)

Our guest writer, Dr Juliet Moses, a Sex and Relationship expert, is back again to take you on a roller-coaster ride about tips to build your orgasmic potentials.

Enjoy her.

It’s a happy fact that orgasms beget orgasms, meaning that most women find that the more orgasms they have, the more easily they orgasm in the future. Whether you’re looking for immediate gratification or long-term payoff, learning more about your orgasmic potentials will likely bring satisfaction on several levels.

If you’re trying to improve your sex life to meet your spouse' expectations or because you’re feeling pressured, you won’t get far but if your interest in having better orgasms comes from personal desire or curiosity, then you’ll probably find these tips very helpful.

1. Start Breathing

Orgasm has the potential to be a full body experience, and breath provides the foundation of the experience. You can build on your orgasms by playing with your breathing. First, sart by paying attention to your breath during sex.

After this, experiment with the depth and pacing of your breath. Try to intentionally change your breath as you feel yourself approaching orgasm. Some people find that longer and deeper breathing at the point of orgasm can expand their awareness of the orgasm in other parts of their bodies.

If you find yourself losing steam, you can also try short quick breaths but be careful not to hyperventilate.

2. Don't forget to move

Moving your body may be an obvious part of having sex, but when it comes to orgasm, a lot of women tense up and hold themselves almost still, which can get in the way of having an orgasm or having a bigger orgasm.

You can change your orgasm by changing how much you move and what parts of your body you move. Start by paying attention to how your body moves during sex and at the point of orgasm.

If rocking your hips doesn’t work for you, try shaking your arms or legs or just letting your whole body writhe. If you are self-conscious about trying this with your partner, start with the lights off, or under the covers. Make a game of it and agree to have sex once while trying to move as many different parts of your body as possible. As you do this, pay attention to see if one or more movements feel particularly good.

3. Find your line

Our obsession with orgasms often means we’re in such a hurry to get there that we lose out on the build-up. Many women I have counseled report that orgasms resulting from a slow build-up or arousal are more powerful than quickie orgasms.

Start by figuring out where your line is: that point at which you go over the top and have an orgasm. Can you always tell when you’re about to have an orgasm? What are the signs that you feel in your body that happen just before orgasm?

Your next step is to prolong the period before orgasm. It’s much easier to try this by yourself. Keep the stimulation going, but let yourself step back from the line a bit. Then start again until you get close to the line.

4. Exercise your pelvis

This tip won’t work for everyone, but if you have movement in your pelvis and don’t experience pelvic pain, you can try to build better orgasms by strengthening the pelvic muscles called the pubococcygeus muscles.

Strengthening exercises for the PC muscles are called kegel exercises, and doing these increases blood flow to the pelvic area. For some women, stronger PC muscles result in stronger orgasms. Simply doing the exercises also increases awareness of your pelvis which itself can lead to more intense orgasms.

5. Get wet

If you really want an earth shaking orgasm, you must get very wet. If you get some irritation by using some lubricant, you can use ordinary water.

Rushing water from a shower head or from a bathtub faucet offers strong and consistent stimulation that is very different from the stimulation of a hand, or rubbing against fabric or furniture and can result in a very different kind of orgasm. Try masturbating in the shower or bath. Playing in the tub is also an easy way to alleviate concerns about sex being too messy or wet, either alone or with a partner.

To be continued next week...